Call register

Received calls — roles held

Senior Software Engineer, Acme Pixel Co. 2022–now

Led the imaginary platform team. Shipped imaginary things at scale.

Full-stack Engineer, Globex Web Ltd. 2019–2022

Built the fictional checkout, twice, the second time correctly.

Dialled numbers — projects shipped

hellotimber 2026

A Nokia 3310 that is also a website. You are holding it.

Project X 2024

A made-up data pipeline that processed made-up terabytes.

tool-y 2023

A fictional CLI with 12 imaginary GitHub stars.

Missed calls — ones that got away

• Rockstar role 2018 — They wanted a ninja. I am at best a polite gardener.
• That crypto startup — Missed on purpose. No regrets.